Aww I *knew* it. I felt the exact same way about you--I *truly* loved both you *and* Jessica as people and said so many times in my confessional if things had been different we would all probably be best friends and allies! But obvi the whole "starting in separate games" thing made it so hard! I will second guess until eternity now if I should have flipped to the "Crete" side at some point cuz I really liked all of you guys. The *problem* with Stranded is that there were too many likable, dedicated players! And I was trying to figure out who to be loyal to the entire game.
Ok, I've had a shot of tequila and a glass of wine so let's do this.
So the tea to start is that Shirin and Will and I have both had final 2 individual alliances with each other that we basically formed the first week in the game. On top of that the 3 of us also had an alliance together as a threesome from way back on Mausolus. In my heart I have always been with them *first*.
My relationship with them was like the very center of tonight's episode, at least for me, because after last night, Will decided to block Lindsey. I don't even know why except that apparently her playing an idol freaked him out. Oh that and he took *major* heat in the end for the Genie vote...
Of course there is like *so* much to the story, but after the Genie vote I also took major heat from Ricard & Rachel and did basically everything I could think of to do to smooth things over with them without throwing Will under the bus, but that was basically impossible. And the fact is I also *really* like Ricard and Rachel! Both of them after the Genie vote talked me up so much to the point where I thought I had actually mended things and the vote for you Taylor helped to solidify that trust, I am sorry to say. Like I thought Lindsey and I were even working together...
So today I honestly woke up and was like--this should be easy, let's pick a Crete guy and run with our majority...but Will decided to block Lindsey, and made it his mission today to get Lindsey out of this game. He rallied *all* of the Crete guys to do it too and was begging with me all day to join him. He swore up and down it was me, him and Shirin, and yet I still felt like this was not the right move for me! I thought it made way more sense for me to get Jay out and that was the name Lindsey eventually threw out. But then of course Jay is messaging me and telling me that Lindsey and Ricard are after me and I should trust him. But like, I just met Jay! And Jacob is messaging me too and saying he wants to vote with me...but that's kinda new too! I felt like I was in the exact middle of this game--me *and* Shirin were basically--but she was kinda MIA all day.
I went to Shirin and was like what do we do here? Do we vote out Lindsey or keep our majority and vote with Ricard and Lindsey? It took a long time today unfortunately to get Shirin's opinion. I thought I would be able to convince her to vote with the Lindsey + Ricard group and it turns out I was wrong about that! She pushed back on me and said she wanted to stick with Wendell and Will and take out Lindsey and it was basically a last minute decision.
So here I am in the middle, and what immunity challenge do the hosts decide to run? THE COCONUT-CHOPPING CHALLENGE!
Perfect.
Right when I couldn't be more in the middle of this game, now I have to literally pick people to target and take out of the challenge. Oh, and Shirin decided to sit out of this challenge. Good idea! I said to my husband right then I'm fucked. Like everyone in this game wants me to vote with them and now I have to reveal my loyalties? And like there is no way they are going to let me win this one after winning the last few immunities...
Lindsey was the one to knock me out of the challenge. So of course I took it personally. LOL.
Once I realized I wasn't going to get Shirin to vote for Jay, I felt like I didn't have a choice anymore. I had to vote with her and Will. I have told them both I would since the beginning of the game.
So with like 5 minutes before TC I went to Ricard and Rachel both and gave them a heads up, thinking they might flip or at least appreciate the heads up.
Of course, I did not know Ricard had an idol. If I had, I would have voted with him obviously! But I don't blame them for not telling me, nor can I blame them for voting me out in the process. I flip-flopped on them and I deserved it. I was just trying to do anything in the game to survive. Oh the regrets!!
So yeah, that's basically the tea. I'm gonna woulda coulda shoulda this day for awhile I think...