Stranded in Aegean Sea

So first off, I want to just thank the lurkers and mods who read my confessionals and believe in me. I have a lot of doubts in myself, they come out a lot in this game but sometimes it is the most refreshing feeling to feel supported or have people believe in you when you don't believe in yourself, and I want to believe in myself more than anything. 

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 Now to get into it...

Yesterday, I was online a lot of the day. I spent most of that time getting to know my new tribe mates from the Cretes game, I even tried to message Brad a bit. I took advantage of what I had going for me which was just another opportunity, another swap, and time.

It really all started with Jacob. I got to talking to him and he said that he has heard things about me... besides the slander from Brad, he has heard good things he said, from Genie and (I think) Will. I can't ever thank Genie enough for saying something nice about me to them. We haven't gotten to play together more than 3 days but I feel similarly about her, that she is genuinely on of the coolest, nicest people to play the game. I respect her a ton, and I am so grateful for her. I am grateful that Hali and her connected at the first swap, and that I got to swap with Genie.

Anyway, Jacob and I get to talking and he is saying he wants to work with me because I'm 100, I'm genuine, etc. because he heard it. We bonded over the fact that on both our seasons, we were on the bottom of the pecking order. Him and Dom apparently got fucked over a lot, similarly to how Will and I did. People just automatically put Dom and Jacob as a pair, similar to Will and I. As I'm talking to Jacob, I'm also talking to Dom. I don't know exactly how to tell this story in a way that makes sense, but basically I was talking to two people at once but in individual messages, and all 3 of us were on the same page. Everyone just came out and said they hated Brad. Music to my ears! Let's keep talking. Anyway, so I'm talking to these guys before even Will really gets to talk to them in this way, and we are like let's work together. We're on the bottom. We're basically two pairs, and if we stick together, people can't reallllllyyy target one pair, etc.  I talk to these two boys and they are saying they want to get Brad out first, then gun for Bradley. Problem is, Bradley was the first person from Crete I felt like really was trying to have a conversation with me, so I was hesitant but I didn't say anything, I just listened. I think the idea is like I don't really care who goes, I just want Brad out for my own personal game, and after that it's whatever gets yours truly to merge. So I'm gonna fucking play it like Sandra, get in a majority, being with more men helps, they can cover me, shield me, whatever, and I fade back like I wanted.

So after talking more and more, I mention to Dom casually, hey, what about a 6 (see the breakdown below). I'm green, Dom is blue.

I hope so lol
Like so many ppl don't like him
Is it too much to ask about us doing a 6 way thing...
Let's just put the dog down...it's the humane thing to do...lmao
Lol ikr
Like 3 couples
Not too much to ask at all
It can take the target off of all 6 of us
I kinda saw the connective tissue there ya
Ya
We just won't say anything to anyone except each other lol
Ok agreed

So back to it... so we agree, we're off. I tell Will what's what, don't mention much just that I talked to Dom and Jacob, they hate Brad and want him out, and I want him to talk to them, etc.

So okay, this is why I'm writing this confessional. Tbh, I am so annoyed that something was my idea and I didn't get credit for it. I feel like I just need to get this out in writing to someone so I don't cause a scene with anyone and completely ruin my game... 

After Will basically talks to them he is like messaging me about how he talked to Dom and Jacob and had an awesome convo with them, and he's like they made some good points. They want to make a 6 with us, Jacob and Dom, and Ricard and Genie. I'm like oh really?????? I had no idea. He was saying how they made good points about getting Brad out next (eye roll, he never actually listens to me but I figured he'll be easily convinced by other people so whatever).

So alright ya now, I'm not gonna lie I was pissed af that I basically came up with this idea for the 6 with Dom. It's even in writing. Lindsey came up with it but Will thinks these boys are the geniuses (and ok they're smart but I sometimes want some amount of credit here). But instead I was like "omg yeah, I feel good about this whatever, blah blah"... I know for a fact that it was my idea, I know I'm not gonna get credit. RIGHT NOW it's not worth it to say anything since my new game plan with this new tribe is to literally fade back, get out of the spotlight. 

So yeah, that's what I'm doing. Swallowing my pride and letting the boys do their thing. Let them think they are driving. I feel like that's what #halsey has been basically trying to do the entire game. I think I just wanted credit. Writing it in my confessionals makes me feel better so here I am.

So things are looking good right now. I am cautiously optimistic but as always preparing for the worst.

-Lindsey



 

I need to talk to someone about something.... ugh. This is when I need Hali.

Alright so like I said in my last post, Dom and Jacob want Bradley out after Brad. I have been talking to Bradley for a couple days now and he is the first person I have connected with and really like, and I think voting him out next would not be good for my game. It is not in my best self-interest to gun for this guy like everyone else wants.

So not even that long ago we get to talking strategy and he flat out tells me he likes working with me and wants to pull in more people and what do I think about that. My gut is seriously like I want to work with this guy, he would be good for my game going into merge, especially considering nobody wants to work with him except me. Assuming he can make it in that far, it would be really awesome to get him as a number and work with me and Hali... I just don't know how to even go about this. Like do I tell him straight up these guys want him out and he's next? I tried to tell him we could work on the idol together. My idea is like if I can get him to find the idol maybe he could use it as a play and fucking go for someone else. But what if someone else finds the idol and he doesn't? Then he knows he's on the bottom and can throw me out and ruin my game.

DAMN YOU, GUT. I want to follow you so bad. How crazy of a play would this be? It would be nuts. Do I tell Ricard? Do I just keep it to myself? I don't know.

-Lindsey

Love your updates, and the attention to the finer details there is appreciated, because I'm only reading confessionals in this and I enjoyed this a lot. Honestly, this was a great read. Love the real and raw venting, and the full glimpse into your head about everything else too. Rooting for you hard, good luck with everything. 

Thank you  Venting like this helps me a lot too, haha.