- Sun Apr 03, 2022 3:47:38 am
#71232
Well, I have made it to the merge and that is an exciting accomplishment in a game like this, however, I have heard through the grapevine that I am being targeted. Fuck.
According to Will:
WILL: Hey this is the plan everyone is to agree to Jay's bs ok but this is breakdown but Erika and Lindsey and all rhodes actually voting for Jess ok
WILL: He wants to do 8 on Tyler, 6 on Bret. This is the breakdown Tyler votes:
WILL: Erika, Taylor, Wendell, Jay, Jacob, Lindsey (me), Brett Jess
WILL: On Bret: genie, Ricard, Tyler, will, Rachel Shirin
So that means, if all of Rhodes votes Jess, the actual votes will be:
JESS = Erika. Lindsey, Will, Genie, Ricard, Shirin, Tyler = 7
TYLER = Taylor, Wendel, Jay, Jacob, Bret, Jess = 6
BRET = Rachel = 1
I will say that Lindsey said earlier that she thought the final vote would be 8-6, so that must mean she assumes Rachel will vote with us. I *really* hope that is the case because I still really like Rachel and we finally got to reconnect a little bit this afternoon. I mean, I'd like to think the way we are chit-chatting that she is not thinking of voting for me--as long as she votes for anybody other than me, we should be able to avoid a tie.
So let's talk about Lindsey for a sec. Will has been informing me that basically I need to get on the same page with Lindsey because she is willing to stay loyal to Mausolus, but feels sketched out having not worked with me much at all in the past. I am equally sketched out by Lindsey fwiw, but I trust Will and I know that at the very least for this first vote Lindsey is going to do whatever she can to keep a vote on her side and right now I am a vote on her side. She may be a gamebot, but a gamebot looking out for me is one I will take right now. She sees the value in keeping Tyler around for a Pagonging if she can arrange it and I think she is going to do everything in her power to arrange it. And I am going to let her! Lindsey is the kind of player that has proven to be good to have on your side. Just take Will for example! He is still in this game in large part due to Lindsey and though things were a bit touch and go last time I was on a tribe with Lindsey, I think she knows that what's best for *Lindsey* right now is to keep Tyler in the game. She needs me more than she likes me, I think, and that's fine honestly. Obviously I would do anything to stay in the game at this point, and if relying on Lindsey is the safest strategy I don't mind doing that for now.
Look, there is no denying that I am not in an ideal position at the moment. I apparently won too many idol clues on the last tribe and from what I am hearing even my supposed buddies Wendell and Taylor aren't doing a thing to either A. inform me that the vote is coming my way, or B. doing anything to stop it. All of my intel is coming from Lindsey and Will because apparently they are being approached to split the vote. I am not of course.
It's really interesting to observe how people treat you when you already know they are targeting you. Both Wendell and Taylor are chit-chatting with me like we are girlfriends and for as much as I like these guys, if I truly do catch a vote from either of them on Sunday, I think it's safe to say these relationships are next to dead to me. The other day we were chatting about having a secret alliance and this and that for looking out for each other at the merge. None of that conversation is happening still. Clearly once I became the target for whatever reason, the easier thing was to just keep lying to me. And how can I blame them? I mean, if the roles were reversed I would likely do the same. I have already stated that I intend to attempt to be everyone's best friend until the second I vote them out and I can only assume everyone else is attempting to do the same to me. I think Wendell and Taylor are both smart enough to know that you never know who you will need in this game so they are attempting to keep me as a warm option until the very end. I respect that honestly. That's how I play haha. But I mean, once they make it official on Sunday it is going to be really hard for them to come back from that in my eyes. Yes, it's true, I may not be in the game still so it may not matter to them, but if I *am* still in the game after tomorrow night, they are going to be on my shit list. Like for real, if somehow we Rhodes folk can snag the upper hand here, why *wouldn't* we target Taylor or Wendell next?
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I would *really* enjoy having the upper hand over Taylor and Wendell at this point. If there was some way I could be lucky enough to find myself in that position tomorrow night I would probably just be over the moon thrilled. Then again, I will just be thrilled to still be in this game after tomorrow night.
It is nerve-wracking AF to be the first target at the merge--to say the least. That was never part of the strategy. I certainly didn't anticipate being a challenge threat as the oldest guy here. My strategy was always intended to be somewhat under the radar--kinda like the game I think Rachel is playing atm. Like wtf is thinking of voting for Rachel rn? NOBODY.
I mean it is also somewhat heart-breaking as well to know that I have been holding out hope that someday TeamTylor could be a thing, or that Wendell and I might vote together at some point. Or even that Bret and I might be allies. I mean, if they all vote for me tomorrow, I kinda can't wait to see what they have to say to me if I survive.
And I might! You never know. If I do it will because A. All of Rhodes did what they said they would and B. that is probably because I have done a fairly good job of getting all of them to like and trust me enough to try to keep me in the game. Yes, some, if not all, of people's motivations in keeping me will be selfish. They need me as a number, not because they like me. But I get how that goes, and whatever reason keeps me in the game is fine with me. I don't have an idol after all.
And what I really need is an alliance that will get me through next weekend. I have told a few people that I am going camping in the desert next weekend and don't expect to be online basically from Thursday night until Sunday night. It is what it is and it stresses me out because I likely wont have internet access that whole weekend. My husband doesn't want to hear a peep about this game interfering with this vacation either so its not like he's super concerned with whether or not I get voted out at any point. So I *need* to be in a majority alliance by Thursday night period. I am going to have to take this day by day obviously because the first step is surviving this first vote! If I do, I will have to survive the next and honestly 4 steps ahead is way further than I am thinking at the moment. It is true, that if my "side" gains the majority tomorrow, it *could* be relatively smooth sailing for awhile...and gosh that would be nice.
But yeah, from what I understand, half the people in this game hope I am the one to leave tomorrow. I hope to disappoint them :P
And maybe, just maybe I can get lucky enough to win immunity tomorrow. Like that would be a funny thing to watch if suddenly *everybody* had to figure out a new plan because I happened to win immunity. I know that would not help in terms of making me look less threatening overall to everybody left in the game, but what do i care at this point? I already have a reputation, and one more day of safety could make *all* the difference. I was able to stack 33 bricks successfully and although I definitely had time to stack more, I was *so* nervous about fucking it up at that point that I decided to just stick with the 33. I mean, I got to 30 and there was a voice inside my head that was screaming at me to get to 33. And I second guessed it because fucking up at 30 is a big deal! So I thought about it for a minute or two. But the voice in my head persisted. SO, at the risk of fucking it all up I took 3 more chances and somehow managed to not fuck any of them up. So I am sitting at 33. It could be much lower than the best stack. It could be much higher than the best stack. It is almost impossible to know at this point. Considering that before today I didn't even know how to time my posts to the second, I have to say that 33 successful post in a row *seems* like a good enough stack to rest on. If I am wrong and someone does better than 33--well then *they* can be the next challenge threat, you know what I'm saying? I am willing to bet that the vast majority of the people left will not get 33 posts in a row.
**Cut to montage of majority of the cast scoring better than 33**
Regardless of what happens tomorrow I just want to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in Stranded. I feel like i have made some good friends and I have exceeded my expectations in even surviving this long in a game this large. If tomorrow is my time I want to try to prepare myself now for a broken heart. I think the thing that will hurt the most is being completely blindsided by a vote. It is easier to accept if you have time to get used to the idea before it happens. I would be more hurt tomorrow clicking on the tribal council link and seeing my name pop up 6 or 7 times and not have expected it at all. If something surprising happens--and I fully expect anything to happen at this point--I want to try to remember the fun parts of the game and look forward to reading all the behind the scenes stuff I wasn't privy to. Once I am out of the game I think it will be easier to absorb anyone's negative opinions of me. Cuz it won't matter you know?
Obviously, I wouldn't be here now writing this confessional if I didn't still care about this game so if you are a host or lurker, trust that I still very much intend to stay in this game. I just know that sometimes I have more or less control over that than other times. Right now, with 14 people left I'd be a fool to think I have control over anything. But I do have friends in this game and if I do survive the next vote I get closer and closer to a safety I *can* rely on.
This first vote is the test. I survive it or I don't and there is a part of me that has made peace with that. I don't know enough about the true dynamic of this merged tribe to know if there are any cards here for me to play other than to play it cool. Because if Jessica does in fact go home tomorrow, I think there is good reason to assume that I might actually be ok for awhile.
Praying to the Survivor gods now.
According to Will:
WILL: Hey this is the plan everyone is to agree to Jay's bs ok but this is breakdown but Erika and Lindsey and all rhodes actually voting for Jess ok
WILL: He wants to do 8 on Tyler, 6 on Bret. This is the breakdown Tyler votes:
WILL: Erika, Taylor, Wendell, Jay, Jacob, Lindsey (me), Brett Jess
WILL: On Bret: genie, Ricard, Tyler, will, Rachel Shirin
So that means, if all of Rhodes votes Jess, the actual votes will be:
JESS = Erika. Lindsey, Will, Genie, Ricard, Shirin, Tyler = 7
TYLER = Taylor, Wendel, Jay, Jacob, Bret, Jess = 6
BRET = Rachel = 1
I will say that Lindsey said earlier that she thought the final vote would be 8-6, so that must mean she assumes Rachel will vote with us. I *really* hope that is the case because I still really like Rachel and we finally got to reconnect a little bit this afternoon. I mean, I'd like to think the way we are chit-chatting that she is not thinking of voting for me--as long as she votes for anybody other than me, we should be able to avoid a tie.
So let's talk about Lindsey for a sec. Will has been informing me that basically I need to get on the same page with Lindsey because she is willing to stay loyal to Mausolus, but feels sketched out having not worked with me much at all in the past. I am equally sketched out by Lindsey fwiw, but I trust Will and I know that at the very least for this first vote Lindsey is going to do whatever she can to keep a vote on her side and right now I am a vote on her side. She may be a gamebot, but a gamebot looking out for me is one I will take right now. She sees the value in keeping Tyler around for a Pagonging if she can arrange it and I think she is going to do everything in her power to arrange it. And I am going to let her! Lindsey is the kind of player that has proven to be good to have on your side. Just take Will for example! He is still in this game in large part due to Lindsey and though things were a bit touch and go last time I was on a tribe with Lindsey, I think she knows that what's best for *Lindsey* right now is to keep Tyler in the game. She needs me more than she likes me, I think, and that's fine honestly. Obviously I would do anything to stay in the game at this point, and if relying on Lindsey is the safest strategy I don't mind doing that for now.
Look, there is no denying that I am not in an ideal position at the moment. I apparently won too many idol clues on the last tribe and from what I am hearing even my supposed buddies Wendell and Taylor aren't doing a thing to either A. inform me that the vote is coming my way, or B. doing anything to stop it. All of my intel is coming from Lindsey and Will because apparently they are being approached to split the vote. I am not of course.
It's really interesting to observe how people treat you when you already know they are targeting you. Both Wendell and Taylor are chit-chatting with me like we are girlfriends and for as much as I like these guys, if I truly do catch a vote from either of them on Sunday, I think it's safe to say these relationships are next to dead to me. The other day we were chatting about having a secret alliance and this and that for looking out for each other at the merge. None of that conversation is happening still. Clearly once I became the target for whatever reason, the easier thing was to just keep lying to me. And how can I blame them? I mean, if the roles were reversed I would likely do the same. I have already stated that I intend to attempt to be everyone's best friend until the second I vote them out and I can only assume everyone else is attempting to do the same to me. I think Wendell and Taylor are both smart enough to know that you never know who you will need in this game so they are attempting to keep me as a warm option until the very end. I respect that honestly. That's how I play haha. But I mean, once they make it official on Sunday it is going to be really hard for them to come back from that in my eyes. Yes, it's true, I may not be in the game still so it may not matter to them, but if I *am* still in the game after tomorrow night, they are going to be on my shit list. Like for real, if somehow we Rhodes folk can snag the upper hand here, why *wouldn't* we target Taylor or Wendell next?
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I would *really* enjoy having the upper hand over Taylor and Wendell at this point. If there was some way I could be lucky enough to find myself in that position tomorrow night I would probably just be over the moon thrilled. Then again, I will just be thrilled to still be in this game after tomorrow night.
It is nerve-wracking AF to be the first target at the merge--to say the least. That was never part of the strategy. I certainly didn't anticipate being a challenge threat as the oldest guy here. My strategy was always intended to be somewhat under the radar--kinda like the game I think Rachel is playing atm. Like wtf is thinking of voting for Rachel rn? NOBODY.
I mean it is also somewhat heart-breaking as well to know that I have been holding out hope that someday TeamTylor could be a thing, or that Wendell and I might vote together at some point. Or even that Bret and I might be allies. I mean, if they all vote for me tomorrow, I kinda can't wait to see what they have to say to me if I survive.
And I might! You never know. If I do it will because A. All of Rhodes did what they said they would and B. that is probably because I have done a fairly good job of getting all of them to like and trust me enough to try to keep me in the game. Yes, some, if not all, of people's motivations in keeping me will be selfish. They need me as a number, not because they like me. But I get how that goes, and whatever reason keeps me in the game is fine with me. I don't have an idol after all.
And what I really need is an alliance that will get me through next weekend. I have told a few people that I am going camping in the desert next weekend and don't expect to be online basically from Thursday night until Sunday night. It is what it is and it stresses me out because I likely wont have internet access that whole weekend. My husband doesn't want to hear a peep about this game interfering with this vacation either so its not like he's super concerned with whether or not I get voted out at any point. So I *need* to be in a majority alliance by Thursday night period. I am going to have to take this day by day obviously because the first step is surviving this first vote! If I do, I will have to survive the next and honestly 4 steps ahead is way further than I am thinking at the moment. It is true, that if my "side" gains the majority tomorrow, it *could* be relatively smooth sailing for awhile...and gosh that would be nice.
But yeah, from what I understand, half the people in this game hope I am the one to leave tomorrow. I hope to disappoint them :P
And maybe, just maybe I can get lucky enough to win immunity tomorrow. Like that would be a funny thing to watch if suddenly *everybody* had to figure out a new plan because I happened to win immunity. I know that would not help in terms of making me look less threatening overall to everybody left in the game, but what do i care at this point? I already have a reputation, and one more day of safety could make *all* the difference. I was able to stack 33 bricks successfully and although I definitely had time to stack more, I was *so* nervous about fucking it up at that point that I decided to just stick with the 33. I mean, I got to 30 and there was a voice inside my head that was screaming at me to get to 33. And I second guessed it because fucking up at 30 is a big deal! So I thought about it for a minute or two. But the voice in my head persisted. SO, at the risk of fucking it all up I took 3 more chances and somehow managed to not fuck any of them up. So I am sitting at 33. It could be much lower than the best stack. It could be much higher than the best stack. It is almost impossible to know at this point. Considering that before today I didn't even know how to time my posts to the second, I have to say that 33 successful post in a row *seems* like a good enough stack to rest on. If I am wrong and someone does better than 33--well then *they* can be the next challenge threat, you know what I'm saying? I am willing to bet that the vast majority of the people left will not get 33 posts in a row.
**Cut to montage of majority of the cast scoring better than 33**
Regardless of what happens tomorrow I just want to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in Stranded. I feel like i have made some good friends and I have exceeded my expectations in even surviving this long in a game this large. If tomorrow is my time I want to try to prepare myself now for a broken heart. I think the thing that will hurt the most is being completely blindsided by a vote. It is easier to accept if you have time to get used to the idea before it happens. I would be more hurt tomorrow clicking on the tribal council link and seeing my name pop up 6 or 7 times and not have expected it at all. If something surprising happens--and I fully expect anything to happen at this point--I want to try to remember the fun parts of the game and look forward to reading all the behind the scenes stuff I wasn't privy to. Once I am out of the game I think it will be easier to absorb anyone's negative opinions of me. Cuz it won't matter you know?
Obviously, I wouldn't be here now writing this confessional if I didn't still care about this game so if you are a host or lurker, trust that I still very much intend to stay in this game. I just know that sometimes I have more or less control over that than other times. Right now, with 14 people left I'd be a fool to think I have control over anything. But I do have friends in this game and if I do survive the next vote I get closer and closer to a safety I *can* rely on.
This first vote is the test. I survive it or I don't and there is a part of me that has made peace with that. I don't know enough about the true dynamic of this merged tribe to know if there are any cards here for me to play other than to play it cool. Because if Jessica does in fact go home tomorrow, I think there is good reason to assume that I might actually be ok for awhile.
Praying to the Survivor gods now.