1. Have you made any big mistakes in your game play so far? What do you wish you would have done differently? How would that have affected your game?
Oh gosh, I am *sure* I have made mistakes in my gameplay. I'm sure I don't even know which mistakes I've even made yet--that will all be revealed in time I'm also sure.
Maybe I'm about to make a new one, who knows! One mistake I *don't* want to make is *not* acting on a good idea when it comes to me. At least I think it's a good idea...
To be clear, after the vote, I decided to take a risk and float the idea of the 1-rep-from-each-OG-tribe-secret-alliance idea to Wendell. He took it *REALLY* well. I could tell by the way he responded that he was super jazzed by the idea and loved the potential for it to give all involved a real leg-up in this game.
ICYMI:
Me: Well, I did have a thought actually although I’m not sure how open to it you might be. I was thinking that everyone is so nervous about the OG tribe alliances, what if there was an alliance of 4 with someone from each OG tribe? Could such a thing exist? Idk I was curious what you thought. But on the floor
Wendell: honestly it would be great to gather info this way come merge i agree
Me: Lol on the floor. I meant on the DL
Wendell: so it has to be me you erika and?
Wendell: lmao assumed it was a thing and went along with it lol
Me: Hahaha yeah the "and" is kinda up to you I think. You probably know the mvgx peeps better than me…
Wendell: id say probably taylor is the most reliable one for this kind of alliance. Honestly I'll be down if we can start some sort of foundation there
Wendell: That sounds like a good idea
Wendell: Tho we need Erika and Taylor on board for that kind of thing as well
Me: True… fwiw I have been having great convos with Taylor and Erika has been very understanding with me over all these votes for her so I think *maybe* this could work…
Wendell: Im totally down if Erika and Taylor want it too, I think this would be great for us. We can push Shirin over you if we go to another tribal. Pretty sure we have max 2 more tribals here. Personally I love that idea and I think its a lot of power for all 4 of us. Also we can make sure the idol is in this group for sure. Tho hopefully one of us can get the 2nd clue cuz this is impossible lmao
Me: hahah right?!? Snow calling me dumb at council.
But it's entirely possible someone found it already... Yeah, look, obviously I would prefer to stay over Shirin if it comes down to it, & there's something about this idea that I thought was cool if it could work so I am glad you're up for it! I'll be honest, I'm not totally sure how to approach Taylor or Erika about it though. Like I'm just not sure if it means anything coming from me... I have been as honest with both of them, but I'm also the next potential target sooo. Not sure what I should do yet.
Wendell: I definitely will discuss with them as well, but I think its best if it comes from you first. I don't want to be the one who seems to push it so they wont think Im too close or trying to just play all sides. But I will voice my support to this plan with them 100%, I think this group could kick ass and it could be a turning point in all our games. On a personal level I feel significantly closer to you than Shirin so I'd love to push to keep you regardless
Me: Ok! This is why I wanted to talk to you about it first. I felt like you would have a good understanding of the best way to approach this if you thought it was at all viable. I absolutely want to work with you moving forward so if you think it sounds better coming from me first I will suggest it.
Wendell: Sounds good, and again I genuinely feel bad for today, thanks for being awesome in understanding
I mean, that sounds positive to you, right?!? No hesitation and what felt like genuine enthusiasm to me. I mean, this guy has fooled me--well twice already so he could be doing it again. I *did* want him to have a bit more of the responsibility for putting it together, but at this point, fueled by encouragement, I decided to go all in on this idea.
Erika and I had been talking already--specifically about her "journey" in this game, which I asked her to share with me and she actually did so, readily and willingly. I guess I kinda took this as a sign. By the time I responded to her she had gone offline, but I started by saying that I appreciated her sharing her journey with me. I shared mine as well although mine is relatively boring lmao. But the idea was to have a conversation about potentially sensitive subject matter in an effort to get to a point where I could finally be, so like what do you think of this 4-some idea? At first Erika was confused:
ICYMI:
Me: you know, given all of the talk in this game about the OG tribes and Rhodes vs Crete, I was wondering, what if there was a low key group of 4 in this game that consisted of 1 person from each OG tribe? Could such a thing exist? Idk what do you think?
Erika: That would be very dynamic lol, and I wouldn’t ever see that coming. I never considered it to be tribe vs tribe or Crete vs Rhodes. I think that’s probably why Hali was suspicious of me. I could be wrong, but I don’t think that’s exactly why ‘you guys’ were being targeted.
Me: Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, would you be at all open to potentially forming a group like that? A low key 4 consisting of 1 person from each OG tribe? It could be a way of forming new trust in this game.
Erika: Yes, at this point I’m open to anything. Who else were you interested in? I must say this is a very dynamic concept you’ve come up with lol
Me: well I was thinking Wendell to rep Ghost, but as for MVGX, I am open to whomever. Like you I am meeting all of them for the first time so I don't really know who to suggest there
This is as far as it got with Erika tonight before writing this confessional, but I think this is a positive response...no??
I decided that, since both of these chats went well and Wendell had mentioned Taylor by name and Wendell had suggested it would be better if it came from me, I would reach out to Taylor as well and I left him a message about this idea for him to wake up to. I'm not sure if that was the *best* way to broach a subject now that I am reflecting on it, but dammit we don't have time to dilly-dally in a game like this, and my number is about to come up here real soon if I don't come up with another plan.
It is true every other person on this tribe has said they like me and a majority of this tribe has claimed to be looking out for me and wanting to work with me once they have whittled down my OG alliance to [potentially] nothing. Wendell has said this. Bret has said this. Taylor has basically said this. They are *all* looking out for me. But they are also lying to me as they systematically remove each and every member of my original tribe. And not just tribe members--actual real allies in this game that I was hoping to have in this game for much longer than this.
But hey, this is when my game turns up *hopefully*. I know better than to get cocky, and I am forever hopeful that Shirin and I *both* survive this tribe, but in the event that doesn't happen, I need some kind of plan or I am royally fucking FUCKED!
My plan is the secret 4.
This could be a turning point in this game. It really could and I think all 4 people are going to selfishly see the potential for something like this to go deep in this game. Why not?? Everyone else will be targeting whichever OG tribe has the most numbers at probably any given moment and I think if we have a rep from every corner of this game getting intel, we could all really protect each other! It makes a lot of sense and I *hope* that * now* that they have basically neutered all of my personal power, they will even trust *me* in this alliance. Like I said, I already think I have Wendell and Taylor willing to work with me. It is Erika that is the wildcard. But she could just be the wildcard that I need on my side...
Like it would *completely* break my heart to lose Shirin in this game. Even with everything I have said above, I am still loyal to Shirin. I am doing what I feel is my best option for trying to survive in this game and on this tribe right now, and I am coming to the sad realization that I may need to prepare for a game without Shirin. It is waaaay too early for that to be my reality so I am just going to quietly reiterate to the universe:
PLEASE UNIVERSE SAVE ME AND SHIRIN AND SWAP US OUT OF HERE PLEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEE!
We know the more *likely* reality, however, is that we will somehow have to survive two more Tribal Councils before that is going to happen. I mean. I *might* be able to survive one TC if all of the boys are being honest with me, but I would be *devastated* to lose Shirin in the process, assuming that's what would happen. Shirin is my *real* Mama C in this game and one of the few people in this game I *truly* trust. She is the *only* person on this tribe I truly trust at the moment. And if Shirin *was* voted out? Damn, that would be a game changer for people on both tribes...
All I know is the secret 4 has solidified in my mind as my best chance at escaping this tribe, as well as building something for the future. I really *hope* that this is something that can turn into something.
Otherwise I've written a lot of words about nothing lol :P
2. There was no whispering tonight at tribal. To what do you attribute that?
There was clearly a unified decision tonight. Of course, I wasn't actually given the *real* story at any point today by anyone. I was told it was Shirin. Wendell said he voted for Erika--LIE! Taylor danced around admitting who he was voting for until he finally admitted Shirin--LIE! Sure, Bret casually mentioned Hali's name at some last minute moment, but not in any way that implied she was the vote. In fact he straight up said he was sure it was going to be Shirin tonight--LIE! Again, Bret is one of the 3 guys on this tribe who I have been *bonding* with and has been telling me sweet nothings about how much he likes me and wants to work with me in the future, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate it! Somehow nobody seems to have Tyler's name in their mouth for the vote and I am grateful for that. Because right now I am just trying to hang on for dear life.
But I was still fucking pissed after council tonight. ALL THREE of these guys that I am sitting here thinking have my back all just lied to my fucking face for the second time in a row basically. Like wtf? Have I really been *that* off about who I can trust in this game? Like, they *REALLY* aren't going to trust me until there are no more Mausos in this game, are they?
Of course I have to pretend like I'm all fine and good with all of this and I "completely understand" and "I would do the same thing" like the whole time Wendell is feeling butthurt about being lied to about Steph but he has lied to me about Carolyn AND now Hali as well. So let's not be thinking we are any kind of saint over there Wendell. If I was in your shoes I'd probably be and feel the same as you, but the truth is your shit stinks just as much as mine did when I *lied* to you. So whatever.
Like I said, I am holding out for a challenge win or two and/or a hope and a prayer that I can form a new alliance on this tribe that can potentially get me through this game. The secret 4 would be an incredible turn of fortune for Tyler if I can get lucky enough to pull this off.
3. If you could offer advice to one player on your tribe, what would it be and who would you say it to?
I would give some advice to Jessica and tell her that just not being online after the vote is NOT A GREAT STRATEGY for dealing with people after you have lied to their face all day. I tried. I *really* tried with Jessica. I honest to god thought we were making a connection in this game. We are practically the same age and that ALONE should make us trust each other but she has said one thing and done another twice now and her colors have been shown. She is a coward. I hate to say it but she is a fucking coward. And I'm pissed. I don't understand why she feels the need to completely bullshit me and then ghost. Like I understand what the guys did--they all admitted it and apologized. Jessica simply chose to hide.
Bullshit.
If this secret 4 becomes a thing, Jess is on my shit list and hit list.
4. Did the right person go home tonight? Who's next at risk?
Well, considering I was told Shirin was the vote tonight, by multiple people who have preached trust and honesty and loyalty and blah blah blah, I was actually surprised to see Hali be the one to go. That was clearly a whole bunch of smoke and mirrors on everyone's part and honestly it was all so well coordinated and orchestrated today that I realized I have even less clout that I even thought I did. I really don't know why Taylor and Jess chose to turn on us all--I mean Jess *is*really good at wining you over. She has charisma and so obviously I like her and want to trust her and for crying out loud if she hadn't just proven to me twice that she couldn't be trusted, I would ALREADY BE ALLIED WITH HER.
Jessica is the biggest disappointment of the day hands down.
Did the right person go home? That's a loaded question but if I had to choose between Hali and Shirin I think everyone who has been following my confessionals at this point knows who I would choose. I was starting to contemplate what my game looks like with Shirin gone and Hali still in. I mean, wildcard city.
I think it is pretty obvious--and hopefully to *everyone* in the game at this point--that Shirin or I are the next to be eliminated from this game. I am inclined to believe it is Shirin before me, but anything could happen. It depends on if the people who think they can use me in the future value me more than they feel threatened by me. I think that's the bottom line. The only thing I have to point to that has given me a leg up in this regard over all other OG Mausos is that I believe I am the most active at making the most connections beyond my OG tribe. AND THIS IS FUCKING WHY this has been a critical aspect of my game strategy from the beginning. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU MIGHT NEED, and I am at a place now where I *need* friends I didn't start the game with.
Like, it's official. After tonight I can no longer rely on my OG Mausolus tribe to get me ahead in this game. *MAYBE* Shirin, god willing, will continue to survive and support me in this game. OH PLEASE SURVIVOR GODS, SPARE ME & SHIRIN & TURN THINGS AROUND ON THIS TRIBE SO THE HOSTS AND LURKERS DON'T DIE OF BOREDOM & PREDICTABILITY! (they deserve better!). But for real though, Shirin is at risk. I am at risk. They could be saying Shirin is next when it's me. But I think it is clear--IT IS ONE OF US NEXT :sadface:
5. Please provide a combined trust ranking of players on both tribes.
SHIRIN - #1
GENIE - #1 on the other side
WILL - #1 on the other side also, but its been a minute...
wow, it gets *a lot* harder from here... I am going to base this I think on how I *want* the game to go from here as opposed to what I think the reality is.
RICARD - ??? Lol this is to say I trust the idea of Ricard more than I trust the people on my current tribe. We formed an alliance with Genie and Shirin before we split oh so long ago. I mean, there's no good reason to believe that this is still even a thing at this point, but here we are.
WENDELL - I *want* to trust Wendell so bad omg I can just *taste* the Secret 4 alliance forming at this most critical point of the/my game. I *need* this alliance to form--for my own safety now and down the line. I don't want to drown reality in optimism, but I am just *so* hopeful this is the moment I turn my relationship with Wendell--and Erika--and Taylor around into something that gets me further in this game. Pleasepleasepleaseplease....
TAYLOR - I *want* to trust Taylor so bad omg I can just *taste* the Secret 4 alliance forming now. Tbh, I don't know if Erika will be on board for Taylor being in the 4. If so, then I have just completely underestimated/misread their relationship. I've just been assuming Taylor was closest with Jess the whole time. I'm starting to think it might actually be Wendell. Idk, maybe we'll see more tomorrow.
ERIKA - to put Erika ahead of Bret is a bold choice, but if I am making this list based of what I *hope* will happen tomorrow, it is that tomorrow a secret 4 alliance will form between me-Erika-Wendell-and Taylor that nobody in this game will ever see coming.
BRET - For as much as I like Bret is he is pretty low on this list. My guess is I am probably in a similar position on his list. It just *feels* like we are both treating each other as *warm leads* or a "connection that may or may not pay off in the future, it all depends." The thing is, we are barely even keeping each other warm at this point. If the vote somehow came down on Bret tomorrow, I wouldn't stop it. I think there is potential with Bret so I'll keep trying to nurture this connection, but it is not a very strong connection, ngl.
JESSICA - Look, for as much as I have dissed Jessica tonight, we have too much potential as allies at some point in this game so I am going to keep playing fake with her and keep my true feelings to myself until the minute she is gone. I'm really disappointed to say the least that I am feeling this way about Jessica right now because, like all of the boys I really do think I could see myself working with Jess. I just feel like at this point, I would be a dummy to think she is in any way with me.
DOMENICK - So there was some trust starting to build with Dom when we were at Gyaros. Of everyone remaining, I am most hopeful to have him in my corner.
LINDSEY - Lindsey is still in this game you guys! Assuming I'm still #TeamRudy4Lyfe with Will, and Will is close with Lindsey, that Lindsey and I could be friends, even allies again at some point. For now it would be naive of me to think of Lindsey as an ally
RACHEL - I have a limited first impression to base my opinion of Rachel on, but I gotta say she is one person I am *really* hoping to re-connect with at some point. I just had such a positive vibe from her I *hope* she has some minimal interest in working with Tyler at some point...
JACOB - meh. I might have to work with Jacob again at some point but I'm not looking particularly forward to it.
JAY - mystery Jay could be cool. But I have no idea. I have not met him. As far as I am concerned though, every question mark is a potential friend.
BRADLEY - mystery Bradley could be cool. But I have no idea. I have not met him. As far as I am concerned though, every question mark is a potential friend.
Wow, composing this list made me *real* aware of how few people are actually left in this game! It's kind of wild. My guess is about half of these people are winner picks, and about half are not. There's *always* surprises in the final 4 and 5 (Heather (S41)? Really?) and I expect nothing less. I don't expect to be anyone's winner pick so that's where I think I fall between the 2 groups. But my point is that I basically know all of my competitors in this game, at least superficially, with the exception of 2. I am no longer playing from a position of power or safety or numbers. *This* could be the moment that my game really heats up. Or it could be the moment before my game fades out. Only time will tell.
But it's entirely possible someone found it already... Yeah, look, obviously I would prefer to stay over Shirin if it comes down to it, & there's something about this idea that I thought was cool if it could work so I am glad you're up for it! I'll be honest, I'm not totally sure how to approach Taylor or Erika about it though. Like I'm just not sure if it means anything coming from me... I have been as honest with both of them, but I'm also the next potential target sooo. Not sure what I should do yet.